Alone… Im all alone.

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Why is it that I always lose something I love? I’m the kind of person who gets attach easily. I easily fall in love with something and I believe and I know that I care too much for my own good. You see just a few weeks ago I lost a very important friend of mine. No it isn’t a person but a cat. Yes it’s a cat – Mr. Cat to be exact. You see my situation right now is I’m in the point of my life were I’m living alone and being left behind by people I care for. I’m 21 years old turning 22 soon, I’m new to the real world and all my sisters are older than me. There is nothing wrong with being left alone but sometimes I feel jealous of other people. They have this complains about their mother/family calling them asking where they are and they should go home and stuff like that. They don’t appreciate them. While in my head Im saying  Are you kidding me? I will do anything to get back to those days, when I go home and there would be someone waiting for me. I work in the city alone and I get to go home to my province on weekends. You know that feeling when you go home and there is no one waiting for you? It’s a battle of loneliness.

Anyway, back to Mr. Cat he was the solution to my loneliness. He was always around when I felt sad. He takes care of me when I’m sick. He always waits for me and he is always by my side. So when he passed away a few weeks ago I was devastated. I felt lost. The pain of my loneliness exists again. I tried to divert it by using my smartphone and guess what just today I lost my phone too.  What now? Yes I have my friends but it’s different, I’m all alone again. Why is it that when I start to get attach to something it leaves me? Did I do something wrong? The problem is I was not alone from the start so having been in situations like this that started when my mother passed away 4 years ago hurts me really bad. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want to be hurt again but I don’t want to live in shadows either. I searched some quotes:

“When you lose something in your life, stop thinking it’s a loss for you… it is a gift you have been given so you can get on the right path to where you are meant to go, not to where you think you should have gone.”

And I found a great quote that just answered me;

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”

Yes life is the most precious of all. I’m still not sure how I will face this but I am sure that I have learned a lot of lessons along the way. A loss is a loss. Will I be okay? – you might be asking. Right now, No. Just give me a few days to pick myself up again. I have no choice anyway I have to keep living. I’m strong! I can do this.

—- See Mr. Cat’s story about how he was more than a pet to me. He was my guardian, best friend and buddy in an article I will be writing soon.

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