Before My Graduation

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Espolong, Joan Casey K.
Bachelor of Arts in Multimedia Arts
Batch 2014
GPA: 1.71
Cum Laude Awardee

THIS IS a 600 WORD ESSAY of My College Story

My name is Joan Casey, a graduating student in the Philippines. I just wanted to share something before my graduation. I used to be an Ordinary student just like you, who didn’t care much about anything. I just go with the flow. I was like a zombie following everyone. A normal artist student to be exact, but you know what; God had other plans for me that I never would have thought possible. Something tragic happen that changed the whole perspective of my college years. Someone important to me had to go to heaven just so I could learn a lesson or two. She is my inspiration for all my achievements. I love you, Mom. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I took my Mom’s passing as an inspiration to do better at everything, or at least do something to make people around me proud. So I joined different organizations became a student leader and such.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention, this won’t all be possible if I wasn’t luckily given a scholarship as a FEBRES Scholar. A Student Assistant, who works for the school so she could pay the tuition bills. From P45,000 or more, my tuition would go only to P3500 or less  each semester. AWESOME, right? I know!  But believe me or not it wasn’t a piece of cake. It was more like a ride in a roller coaster; it had ups and downs and sometimes it just go in circles. People judge you for stupid reasons, talked behind your back, spread rumors even though they don’t know the real story.  Can you imagine just like you I had school works, personal problems and etc.? I was also a student leader/ officer who had responsibilities like paper works, holding school activities, serving people and a whole bunch of things that you probably don’t care about. So it was more like SCHOOL WORKS + EXTRA CURRICULARS + OFFICE WORKS and PERSONAL PROBLEMS mixed together in about four years. All that hard work that most of the time I would go home at 9PM from my duty and still I had school works to take care of. It was really fulfilling but I won’t lie there were times I wanted to quit and just walk away from it all. I cried a couple of times and you know, think of bad things that people should not do when depression comes in. But God never let me go, because before I got here there were rewards like I was shown on Hero TV ( Best Anime Cable Channel in the Philippines!) a couple of times. I was able to fulfill most of the things I wanted to do before I graduate like go places with my bestfriend, have a tarp outside of my college and many more.

So Yeah… Im Here! I faced it all and Im graduating. Im filled with joy! SERIOSLY! IAM! Im a Cum Laude Awardee (PROUD), I told my Dad, and he somehow made me emotional about it. You see my Dad is a seaman for almost half of his life. He worked hard every single day so my sisters and I could finish our studies.  He told me it was one of his dreams to give/hang a medal on graduation of his children and since I was his last daughter to graduate.. Yeah… I know you know the rest so yeah… It’s really sad but I can’t do anything. So I kind of joke about it, that we can reenact the moment I received the award when he gets home. I’m graduating! Yeah I know this is just the start and the real world is a much scarier place, but you know what? I won’t back down! I can do this! I will fulfill my ultimate dream of traveling the world! I promise! The lesson is  “Never Give Up without a Fight!” and keep this in your heart and mind “ I do it because i can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn’t.”  Just live life happy, trust in God and you’ll go places!

Losing something is never easy.

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January 17, 2014.

Today, I said goodbye to a very good friend of mine, my Samsung Ch@t 335. He was with me for 5 years. It was always there to wake me up every morning or kept me company whenever I felt lonely. I record my voice, listen to its radio or playlist, view old videos, took some photos and especially contact my friends and family, but now it’s gone just like that. You see today was supposed to be an awesome day because finally for the first time, I was able to be a part of a cover of an event for my OJT. To be specific it’s an event of Alodia (The Cosplay Goddess), The Marble Wonderland at Movie Stars Café, SM Mall of Asia. For some reason while on our way to the event I felt uneasy but I did not mind it at that time because I was kinda hungry. Maybe that was a sign that I was gonna lose it. The whole event was nice I had fun. I got the chance to be treated like a VIP, interview personalities like Alodia, Myrtle, 217, Miume  and many more! The catch was… I was not prepared to lose my phone. I was really devastated when I realized that my phone was gone. I was so busy enjoying the moment that I forgot about my phone. Not only the fact that I lost my phone made me really sad but also realizing my past memories disappeared also. Another reason why I felt sad was I couldn’t contact a friend of mine who was having her birthday celebration Mall of Asia. We were supposed to meet but because I had no more phone, I had no idea what happened to her. Did I mention that was the first phone I bought for myself with my own money while Im still studying? It’s really devastating… It’s my first time losing a very sentimental gadget that is why I am very emotional, Im sorry.  May my Samsung Ch@t 335 Rest. In. Peace. Everything has a reason maybe it’s time to let it go and move on. Things come and go, it’s life. I just know that losing that phone means losing a big part of me for the past 5 years. I dedicate the song “When Your Gone” to my dear friend Samsung Ch@t 335 may you find peace. I miss you already…Imagea

My Teenage Years… Gone like the wind.

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                            So… umm… Yeah I haven’t been writing anything for a while now and the reason for that is because I’m Lazy. I wanted to tell you a lot of things way back but when I reach my computer its only leads me to facebook and my mind just goes blank. Yeah… I just wanted to tell you all that in about 2 hours in my time (Philippines) my teenage years will be over, which for me is really sad. The fact that I am not that young anymore makes me want to punch the wall with a stick because punching it with my fist would really hurt and I don’t want that. I cant yet even get over the fact that Im not 12 anymore and now to think that Im turning 20? Men! How time flies and really it bloody hell sucks. So in less than 2 hours I can never be the same again because I’m not a freaking teenager anymore. No more excuses with the fun and games I do most of the time.

               Though my context seem that I am really angry that’s because I really Am. Who would be happy with the fact that I’m getting old and I’m one more year closer to my death? Man! It’s really depressing.

                 Nah… I’m over it about a minute ago. I am calm right now. I can’t do anything about it anymore because that’s how life works. We get old and then we die. Its just a matter of who goes first and who is the lucky one who survives longer.

                 So the fact that I Am not a teenager anymore is really sad and I cant do anything about it anymore but to embrace it. Like Hell! I will face this stage of 20′s where its really crucial to find myself. I will probably fall a lot but I am very sure I will get back up again! 20′s! I Am not afraid of you! I might be aging by number, because technically age is just a number but I will always be young at heart. You wanna know why?!! That’s because I know that staying a kid means you are not afraid to do anything. I will always believe that I can and will make it in this world without growing up. Aging does not mean I have to grow up I believe it only makes me human. I will never grow up I tell you!

                     So my point is you don’t have to grow up, when you age. It only shows your human. Like what Avril songs says “Here’s to never Growing Up!”. Let’s all just be ourselves no matter how old we are. Let’s just imagine, believe, and take action in things we want to do or things we dream to because its more fun that way.

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We can’t help but wonder how much difference one person makes in the world. We look inside ourselves, questioning if we have the capacity for heroism and greatness. But the truth is, every time we take an action, we make an impact. Every single thing we do has an effect on the people around us. Every choice we make sends ripples out into the world. Our smallest acts of kindness can cause a chain reaction of unforeseen benefits for people we’ve never met. We might not witness those results, but they happen all the same.

—- Jake Bohm (Touch 2012)

This quote is from Touch (2012) and it really inspired me. I hope it does the same to you.. Watch Touch (2012) and get some inspiration :)

Touch

No Matter How Long

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The photo was taken 11 years ago. Me and My Mom.

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             3 days ago, I was really sick. I came from school and when I got home my aunty, my niece, and my niece’s nanny were the only ones at home. The two were too busy taking care of the baby and nobody would believe me that I wasn’t feeling very well. I know to myself that I was sick because I feel colder than usual and my head feels like it was being crush by something I do not know. No one would take care of me at that moment, so I went straight to my Mom’s bed. Technically it’s my Dad’s bed now, but I still call it my Mom’s bed because it is what I’ve gotten use to. I wanted to sleep I really did but I couldn’t and I suddenly felt like crying. I suddenly thought about my Mom and how she would take care of me when I was sick.

            It’s been 23 months, 103 weeks, 721 days, and 17304 hours since my Mom died. That would be almost 2 years ago and I couldn’t understand but I suddenly felt sad and I cried quietly while I was lying on the bed. I didn’t know if it was the fact that I was sick at that time or I just really felt like I miss my mom. Honestly, I thought I got over my mom’s death but I guess I didn’t.

I realized that no matter how long it is, when you lose an important person… You will still cry no matter what. When you remember all the memories and what could have been when he/she was still alive would matter. I miss my Mom, I really do but I know even if she’s gone she is still with me right now guiding me every step of the way. Sometimes, I wish I could say that somehow until now I’m still dreaming about the fact that my mom is dead but I can’t. It’s just how it is. I cannot change anything but I can keep living. Right now, I’m still a little bit sick but I try to be happy and energetic as always. Life is still about being Happy even though sometimes we experience a little bit of pain.

Life is about being Happy

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             First of all, before I tell you of what I think what life Is… Let me tell you a little bit about myself. My name is Joan Casey. I have been living in this world for 19 years. I had only experience the Philippine culture but I know a lot about American culture from shows and things I watch. In my young age, I already know how it feels like to lose someone important to you. I told my story of my mom’s death in one of my articles here in word press. Ever since I was a young girl I was thought to believe that I can do anything if I wanted to. Nah… I’m just kidding I have a really bad memory and I don’t have much memory of my childhood. My mind is like a computer that has an auto delete function but doesn’t have a recycle bin. I only know my childhood from pictures and stories I heard from my family and friends. I like being myself and I hate it when other people tell me what I should be. I am an artist in a way because honestly I still don’t know what to do with my life but I enjoy every single day. I honestly don’t plan on living long but I do have plans to be happy.

Now, you ask me why the heck, would you be inspired of what I’m telling you right now. Okay… Here’s why. Life is what we want it or what we chose it to be. If you chose the wrong path then try to find a way to fix it. When my Mom died I was only 17 years old I felt like my whole world is over that nothing make sense anymore. We were cover with debts, we had no more money for my studies, and everything was just hopeless in my point of view. You know what I did… I stayed strong I did my best to find myself a scholarship so I could continue my studies and I did. I’m currently a working scholar at my college and I am a consecutive Dean’s list. I am also nominated for 10 Outstanding Junior Student in my college. If I quit that early I wouldn’t be in where I am right now. I might only be 19 years old but I am devoted to continue living my life as happily as I could.

Life is about living happy. If you experience pain that’s natural, if you lose someone important that’s life, and if you cant take it anymore just smile. If you wait for happiness that’s stupid, you should find your happiness. Think about it, animals only live a few years but they live happy. Watch your dog and observe what he does. He looks happy while doing silly things right? That’s because that’s what makes him happy. That’s what his life is about. How about you? What makes your life happy?

Being unique/different is the best thing that could happen to you!

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           Just like anyone of us, there comes a time when we realize that we don’t belong to the crowd. We realize we are different; we are unique in some ways. That’s when we start to do different things. We tend get off the crowd and start doing things in our own different way. Some tend to embrace being different and share that difference with others. While others get too scared, hide and just be ordinary. Normal is boring! That’s why I’m here to tell you why being different is the best thing that could happen to you!

            First of all why do people choose to be different? People choose to be different because being different lets them express themselves without worrying about anything. Lets them be whoever they want to be without worrying the crowd would say about them. Lets them learn for the sake of learning, lets them create things just for the sake of learning, lets them create things just for the fun of it, and they know that they are their own hero. Being different makes us unique lets people know the real us. Makes people know who their real friends are and who the real persons around them are.

            Now, its time for me to tell you why being different is the best thing that could happen to a person like you. Being different is the best thing because people like you, will be able to stand out against the ordinary people around. They have the power to affect the world and inspire others along the way. They have different gifts to offer including something they haven’t yet realized are gifts. If they are still in school they are able to excel in their uniqueness academically, socially, and artistically. They can also make a difference and be remembered for what they did. If they start working lets face it. Their boss will notice them more because they do things differently than others that make them shine.

            Just like what Taylor Swift said “Don’t ever change when you are different.” Taylor Swift was different. She never cared what other people thought of her. She only does what she thinks is good for her. Look at her now being adored and admired by almost everyone in the world because she was different. How can we forget the most famous song of Lady Gaga Born this way and Fuckin Perfect by Pink? Both talk about Embrace your uniqueness because you are beautiful. The most famous song today Oppa Gangnam Style by PSY because it was very unique and different we embrace and love it. Now he is famous all over the world because he believe in what he thought was awesome.

            Being self expressive in a different way is very healthy for us because we are able to let the world see the true us. We are able to be the person we are happy to be. We are able to excel in our own way and we are able to be inspirations to others. So no matter what happens, if you are different, don’t ever change. It is the best thing that could happen to you. If you ask me, if I am unique or different in my own why, I would definitely answer yes! Because I know I Am different on my own way and I know I Am my own HERO!